Friendship

Good Friday morning.

I did it. Made it through my second full week of blogging. Jen, thanks so much for your kind words. I’m glad I make your heart smile. That sounds like something I might say.

Posting five days a week is proving to be a most interesting exercise for me. I think all but two days, including today, I have sat down at my computer not having a clue what I would share. I pray. I read my Bible. I muse. And then I sit and start to write. Start tapping on the ole keys. I soon scrap one idea and move on to another. Write a few sentences. Thoughts begin to take shape. Oh, this is good. But then suddenly it doesn’t seem so hot. Or maybe it is but it’ll take a whole lot longer than I have at the moment . So, I set it aside for another day. I try to think of something short. Simple. Quick.

I don’t seem to think short thoughts. Definitely not a quick writer. That’s okay. All the while I’m writing – like now – I’m reflecting on my theme, “When I Remember.” Suddenly I’m reflecting on something of God’s character, His attributes, His work in my life and those around me. Reminded of His love, His goodness, His kindness . . . even His discipline. For this stems from His kindness as well.

Beautiful day in Coeur d’ Alene. A dear friend – a long-time friend from Seattle – came for a visit yesterday and will be with me through the afternoon. We have a lot of history, Terri and I. We attended the same church for years in Seattle. Often hiked and camped at Mt. Rainier before I moved to Tennessee. She hates coffee. Loves tea. I hate tea, love coffee. But what sweet fellowship we’ve shared over the last fifteen years or so as we sit across from one another, pouring out our hearts and our lives. Catching up, yet ever surprised how little it takes.

Hearts knit together through so many seasons, both literally and figuratively. We just don’t need to say a lot to feel heard. Understood. My friend is a treasure.

Among the most blessed aspects of close friends is they see how you’ve matured in Christ. I don’t see it sometimes. “Almond Days” remind me of my weakness, my shortcoming, my propensity to sin, to falter. And yet, I know that all this proves I’ll never stop needing a Savior.

But a friend sees how I’ve grown. Even in my weakness, she sees my desire to grow more like Christ. She sees that I am not in the same place I was the last time we saw each other – even if the last place was a good place. She sees the value in the struggles I’ve faced even when I’m hard pressed to see them at the moment. I may be still struggling in such and such an area, but she says, "Remember when you used to –?" I say the same to her.

Well, I could write about this all day – that is, the gift of a friend. But I must run. She and I are headed out the door to play.

Have a great weekend all. See you back on Monday.

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel. (Proverbs 27:9)

A Real Good Hand

Howdy.

Thursday already. Thanks for sharing your dream, Peggy! That sounds like a cool cover! You are so right. Jesus does know our deepest pleasures and joys. I’d like to scoot a big red chair next to yours, my friend. Thanks to those of you who have posted to me privately, too.

This morning I’m working on a project for a new client. Thoroughly enjoying myself. Makes me wonder if God really might grow this job into full time? Not close to that yet, but I’m closer than I was a couple of months ago. It's not just that I'm getting more work. I'm thinking more as an entrepreneur, which is entirely new to me. I keep looking for full time jobs and yet for the first time I’m more open to part time. But not any part time. And not any full time. The “mix” is becoming increasingly important. If a job pays well but is far away, that takes from time I could be building Word Count. But then there are the benefits.

If I work part time, there are not the benefits but could be closer to home. Maybe learn new skills. Just don’t know. With each passing day, I gain new insight. In the process, my goals and objectives are shifting somewhat. I’m doing all I know to do. I ask God for wisdom. Through His Word, through the wise counsel of others. And in the middle of it all, I continue to precede the best I know how.

Thinking about all this, I’m reminded of a situation many years ago.

Visiting with my friends one Saturday afternoon, they decide to teach me a new card game. Nancy explains how we were to judge how many “tricks” we could take based on our hand. And this was dictated in part by how many trump cards we each had. Nancy was my partner and I was the last one to bid.

The number I bid was exceedingly high. Too high.

“Gayle, do you understand?” Nancy asked. “We all just said we can take X number of tricks. By bidding that number, you’re saying the tricks we think we will take, you will take instead. That could happen but rarely does.”

“Yes, I understand. Didn’t elaborate.

Fiercely competitive, a look of resignation immediately washed over Nancy’s face, her expression telling. If you knew what you were doing, Gayle, you wouldn’t bid that way. We’re gonna lose this hand big time.

While I didn’t appreciate her lack of confidence, I understood. This was only our third hand. I wasn’t experienced yet. I was smart enough to know this: I wasn’t about to alleviate Nancy’s anxiety at the expense of revealing to our opponents that I indeed had a very good hand.

“You must have a really good hand, Gayle, that’s all I have to say.”

I smile slightly. Say nothing.

Each time we went around the table, I’d lay my card down. I had so many trump cards in my hand, I was taking their kings and aces right and left. Soon it became evident. I did have an extraordinarily good hand. Every trick I said I’d take, I did. Every one.

At the end of the hand, Nancy’s happy but mostly shocked. ”Wow. “You knew your hand.”

What a picture of God! Through His Word, through His Holy Spirit, through my daily experience He tells me. ”I'm going to do this in your life, Gayle. I know you can’t see it, but I will do it.”

I want to believe that God knows what He’s doing just like my friend wanted to believe me. The difference, of course, is obvious. Nancy had reason to be nervous since I’d never played this card game. God is the Creator of the Universe. He made the Game. He made me. I can trust Him.

Still I’ll admit it. God does make me nervous sometimes. I can’t see what He sees. Looks like I could lose. I consider present circumstances in my own life and I become anxious. I see greater hardship among my loved ones and the world at large and think, it’s just too much. Too much sorrow. Too much evil. Too much brokenness. Yes, I see God working. But could His “Hand” possibly be so good to bring good out of all of it?

Yes! Always yes! God promises. He will make all things beautiful in its time. Everything is in control.

I remember that day well, even 25 years ago now. God showed me a glimpse of life from His perspective. The look on Nancy’s face – a picture of me. The confidence I felt – a picture of God. No wonder I’ve never forgotten. I remember Nancy’s look of distrust. I remember my excitement, knowing we would win. But I couldn’t tell Nancy that. Just like God can’t tell us sometimes. She’d known soon enough.

So will we.

All God’s cards are “trump cards.” He always has and always will have the first and last word. Have a great day!

Remember the former things, those of long ago;
I am God and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me.
(Isaiah 46:9)

Let him who walks in the dark,
who has no light,
trust in the name of the Lord
and rely on his God.
(Isaiah 50)

Dream a Little Dream . . .

Mid week already. How y’all doing?

I had this scary thought this morning. I hope you don’t think I entertain these long, deep thoughts every moment of the day. Actually I have been told I am a “deep thinker.” I don’t know about that. All I know is a thought pops into my head and I start thinking about it. My sweet friend, Patricia, in Costa Rica tells me I “put her to think.” That does makes me smile.

Today I have a full day and must get started. Yet as this day begins, I’ve been pondering this new dream I have. I actually had it about 12 years ago but forgot about it. Yesterday I thought about it again after all this time. Given the way some things are playing out in my life right now, I could see this happening in a few years. Now if it could, would I really want it? Don’t know. I’m not sure how serious I am about it. Cool thing is there’s nothing I’m doing right now that would prevent this dream from happening. So, I don’t have to decide.

So easy to start wondering what others would think. Some would probably say it was a great idea. Knowing me well, my interests, strengths, gifts – how far God has brought me already – they’d say, “Yea, I can see you doing that.” Others might not be so excited. They’d be quick with the “What abouts?” "What about this? What about . . . ?” Thing is, I’m really good at thinking about the “What abouts?" By the time I take the risk of voicing a dream at all, God’s already emboldened me with a certain confidence to believe it could happen. Otherwise I won’t bring it up at all.

Do you have a dream? Maybe you used to but stopped believing it could happen a long time ago. Maybe it can’t happen, at least the way you originally envisioned it. I’ve discovered for me personally that what I do with a dream reveals a lot about what I really believe about God – opposed to what I wished I believed. Or should believe. Dreams involve our deepest feelings and desires. And for anyone who’s had a broken dream – and I am pretty sure that is all of us – you know. Sometimes the sting can last for a long, long time. And if you dare to dream at all again, chances are, you'll most likely keep it to yourself. Sometimes it can feel too scary to even tell God. Yea, He knows. Of course, He know. Point is, you’re not talking to Him about it. I’ve done that.

In future blogs I may explore this with you future. For now, I’d sure be interested in your thoughts on this. That is, what you do when God gives you a cool vision for your future – maybe even way down the road. Pray about it? Blow it off? Think it’d be a waste of time to try? Dig in and say, "Let's go for it!"

Today I am remembering this. God knows the thoughts I’m thinking before I do. If some big idea pops into my head – way bigger than I could ever pull off on my own – I’m gonna tell God about it. Why not? I figure that even if I’m a million miles off from His future plans for me, God will be pleased that I wanted to share it with Him. After all, God loves hearing that we believe He's big enough to make it happen.

Remember, too. If someone shares a dream with you today, treat it as a delicate piece of fine china. They’re giving you a gift. They don’t have to tell you, you know? If you think it’s the craziest idea you’ve ever heard, keep it to yourself. I’ve shared ideas with friends over the years that within 24 hours I knew it was crazy and I didn’t even want to do it once I talked it out. But how grateful I’ve been to those friends who honored me by at least letting me share. Totally be myself. One author described them as “Balcony People.” The great encouragers in our lives, always cheering us on.

Have a great day!

May our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who loved us and by His grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word. (2 Thes. 2:16)

When the World Calls Me By Name

Good morning!

Last night in my Beth Moore Bible study, “Believing God,” she shared the difference between proactive sin (premeditated) and reactive sin (spontaneous). Both have their consequences, to be sure. But the heart motivation for each is different.

I wish I could say my only sins were reactive (like my sudden hankerin’ to by the almonds) but that’s not true. Sometimes I want to sin. I'm thinkin' about it. Plannin' it. I don't want to hurt God. But I want what I want. Now. And I really do get that the reason why God hurts in the first place is because He knows sin will hurt me. I’m the one who loses in my momentary folly.

How is it that even though I agree with God about a particular matter, I suddenly suspend any spiritual understanding He’s given me? Just so I can have the “liberty” to say or do whatever it is I’m wanting to say or do? I thought of this parable of sorts:

Little Carly proudly slips on her new backpack. "Thanks, Mommy, for writing my name in such big letters. My best friend, Lindsey, has one just like it and now we won't mix 'em up. As they walk to the bus stop, Carly's mother rehearses with her daughter the now familiar rules about talking to strangers:

"Honey, what do you do if a stranger approaches you at school?"

"I run away and find my teacher."

"What if a stranger walks up to you after school and says, ‘I’m a friend of your mommy. She asked me to pick you up today.”

“No Mommy! That man is lying! “You would never have a stranger come and get me, ever!” Carly shakes her head for emphasis.

"That’s right, sweetie. And remember. There’ll never be any exception to this rule.”

“I know Mommy, never.” Carly’s mom stoops down to give her precocious six-year-old one last hug as her school bus approaches. “Have a great day at school."

Hours later, school’s out and Carly saunters toward her bus.

“Hi Carly.” She spins around to see who’s talking to her.

A man Carly doesn’t recognize approaches. “Guess what? You don't have to take the bus home today! I'm on my way over to your house right to now visit with your mommy. She asked if I’d pick you up.”

Clutching her backpack a little tighter, Carly starts to run back toward her class – just like her mommy taught.

“I don’t know you. Don’t talk to me. I’m going to get my teacher.”

The Stranger easily catches up to Carly. “Don't be afraid, sweetie. I know about your mommy and daddy's rule. I taught my little girl not to talk to strangers, too.”

“You did?”

"I'm proud of you, Carly. You are right not to talk to strangers like me. But this is an exception. Your mommy told me to make sure you knew that."

“But my mommy told me just today there are no exceptions. Ever.”

The Stranger stoops down to Carly’s level so she can see he is quite a nice man. A safe man. “Carly, this is an exception to the no exception rule. This is the only time this will probably ever, ever happen. Plus, think about it, Carly. How could I have recognized you? How could I have known your name, if your mommy hadn’t told me?"

How could he know my name?

“Carly,” the Stranger tenderly continues. “Your mommy told me that she would have your favorite after school snack waiting for you."

“Chocolate chip cookies?”

“Yes! With extra chocolate chips.”

This stranger just can’t be one of the bad men Mommy and Daddy told me about. He’s so nice and he even taught his own little girl the rule.

Though still apprehensive, going against her better judgment, against all her mother had told her just that morning, Carly finally clasps the hand of the nice Stranger and gets into his car. How could he be a stranger, after all? He knew her name?

Of course, Carly had forgotten her name was written boldly on her new backpack.

I've come to believe that God’s precepts contained in Scripture are His hedge of protection, His “invisible fences" to shield me from harm.

The world has its standard of "acceptability." If I don't measure up to its standard, I’m unworthy. “Conform.” Conform or else," the world screams every day. The more I believe what God says about me, though, the better equipped I am to ignore those lies.

Sometimes, though, the world calls me by name far more gently. Just like Carly. She knew the truth. But then the Stranger said something that made her doubt what she knew to be true. That happens to me sometimes.

The world’s call can come from anywhere any time. Sometimes the call is most gentle from someone I love and normally respect – friend or family perhaps. Or it may be a boss or coworker. "Come, Gayle. Take this certain path or consider this certain option."

Yet in my heart I already know the truth. This is not right. I see it clearly. At first. The conversation really should be settled. But then I waver.

It is especially these situations that seem like the "exception," I must remember to run into the arms of my Heavenly Father. Fast! No matter how gently the world has called my name, if the decision will draw me away from my loving Father, I must not listen. If I listen too long, I'll eventually follow. The end, always predictable, will cause disappointment and heartache.

I am wise to remember spiritually speaking, I’m just as vulnerable as Carly. Yet as I clasp the hand of God, He delights to walk beside me. And by His grace I am able to enjoy thoroughly all the good things this world has to offer – that which God Himself created – and disregard the rest.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God. (1 John 3:1)

Blessings all!

Monday Morning on Planet Earth

Good morning. Hope y'all had a terrific weekend. Thanks for returning! I'm still getting into the swing of being an official blogger.

Monday mornings are much different for me than they used to be. For my entire career, I’ve worked in office administration serving in a support role. I’ve had some awful jobs over the years. I’ve had some great ones, too. Presently, I have neither. I’m unemployed.

Well, sort of.

Beautiful area of the country here but jobs aren’t exactly plentiful. I recently calculated that out of the last 21 months I’ve lived here (moved from Nashville, TN), I’ve only worked full time collectively for about seven months – except for my own business. More on that in a minute.

When I put it that way, sounds pretty scary. Actually, no matter how I put it, sounds scary, me thinks. I’ve been out of work before, maybe a few weeks, or a couple of months. But I always worked as a “temp” during the gaps. This is the first time in my career that traditional options haven’t proven successful. I’m hardly independently wealthy. I do need to work.

Yet I realized something this morning. I’m not independently poor either.

Fact is I’m not “independently” anything. My life is hidden with Christ in God. I’m dependent on Him.
While the job market has been lean – though it does seem to be picking up – I’ve believed from the start that there is more to my unemployment than merely lack of work. For each month that passes, God’s activity becomes more conspicuous. I see He’s working in my life; just not clear what He’s doing necessarily. Every time I’ve gotten a bit discouraged, though, “something” happens that makes me see He’s right there with me. Not gonna let me fall. God is a God of His word. Takes good care of His people. He’s sure taken care of me. The numbers just don’t add up on paper but I’m really okay.

Sure been a faith-stretching time though.

Something else though. I’m beginning to think God may be redirecting me – actually have suspected this for some time. Almost two years ago, I started working as a freelance marketing assistant to my good friend and Christian novelist, Brandilyn Collins. Then in November of 2004, I also started working for Christian novelist Terri Blackstock. Since then, the Lord has gradually been adding to my clientele. Recently I decided to make my business official and became the sole proprietor of Word Count, providing administrative marketing assistance to Christian authors.

I am still looking for full time work. I am still open to working temporary. I am also open to Word Count growing to full time. May be a combination. It’s His choice. How could I possibly know what’s “best” for me? I can only see so far. God has all the information. Meanwhile, I pursue every opportunity that presents itself. I am prepared that the phone may ring here in a few moments from my temp agency. In that case, I’ll quickly dress and be on my way. I will also send out a few resumes to the companies that posted openings this weekend.


But since God has also graciously provided a new project through Word Count, I may sit here quietly at my computer. And in between all this, I’m learning several software programs to broaden my skill base to my clients or position me better within the job market.

I have lots to do today. One way or another, I’m always employed by the King!

Never been in a season like this. Not quite the routine I’ve been used to historically. I’ve also never thought of myself as the entrepreneurial type. But maybe I am. I’m not sure how this day will play out let alone this season. But I have to say. I’m excited!

Have a great day.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

You know Better Than That!

Happy Friday!

Terri, tortillas aren’t on my hit list but tortilla chips are. Lynette, yep, can’t eat what you don’t bring home. Nita, dear friend. Writing this blog is fuelled in part by the encouragement you gave me so long ago. And Jennifer. Oh my, sweetheart. You’re in my prayers.

When I was a child, my parents worked hard to instill in me good manners: Be respectful to grown ups. Don’t interrupt. Don’t talk back. Be sure to say please and thank you if the Robertson’s offer you something to eat. Don’t’ run across the neighbour’s yard.

Sometimes I’d forget my manners. My parents, especially my mom, would say: “Gayle, you know better than that. Why’d you do it?”

“I don’t know. Forgot, I guess.”

“Well, don’t forget next time.”

But I would.

I appreciate my parents’ correction. Yet it occurred to me some time ago that God never talks this way to me. He never says when I sin, “Gayle, you know better than that.”

Why?

God knows something we either forget or just don’t realize. There is no power in simply knowing better. Good grief. If that’s all it took to make the right choice every time, I wouldn’t have written my woeful tale yesterday about my almond binge.

Fact is, God gave us the Ten Commandments and the rest of the Law as His perfect standard for living right. Yet it’s not in our makeup to do the right thing 24/7 and do it all (or not do it) for the right reasons. Nobody’s ever pulled that off except for Jesus Christ Himself. The God-Man. The law was intended for us to give up and admit, “I just can’t do it. I’ve tried. Hard. In fact it seems the harder I try, the worse it gets.”

That might seem an awful place to have to be. Yet it’s the very best place to be. Just watch what God does when someone says that to Him then asks for His help.

I wasn’t even thinking about almonds when I walked into Costco last week. But when I saw ‘em, I wanted ‘em bad! Once I got home and ripped open that bag, there was no stopping me. The more I told myself to stop, the more I indulged. That’s just the way we are. We want what we want when we want it. Without the consequence. Especially when we decide we can’t have it.

Christ came to rescue us from that mentality. Overdosing on almonds is hardly going to ruin my life. I won’t be arrested for driving under the influence. But I think you get my point. Neither the law of nutrition nor the Law of God can bring salvation. Rather its value is to point me to Christ Himself as my Savior. He rescued me from hell – miracle enough. And yet, He keeps rescuing me from myself daily in small and big ways, all the while guiding me to walk in His ways that bring freedom.

I attend a church that teaches and extends grace. I am surrounded by friends that extend grace to others. Above all, I believe what God’s Word says about grace. So you’d think I’d keep it straight all the time that I can never rely on my own strength to make right choices . . . that I’d remember it was for freedom that Christ set me free.

I wish that were true. Instead, sometimes God says to me:

“Gayle, you foolish girl. Who have you been listening to? What have you been watching on TV? You started out well this week, this day, this hour. Before your very eyes you keep seeing Me work in your life. You know it is I who accomplish such things – not you by your puny effort. Where’s your head, Gayle? Do you think My grace was only to save you, set you on the right path? Now that I’ve cleaned you up, do you think you can manage your life from here?”

No. I don’t believe that. God knows I don’t. Nevertheless, human nature is such that unless I choose daily to abide in Christ, the potential to revert back to my old ways of handling my life is ever present. In fact, I believe the longer I walk with Christ, the greater my propensity will be to fall into legalism. Why? Because the more I experience God’s love, kindness, and forgiveness, the more I’ll realize He deserves my love and adoration. So when I fail to give Him the honor due Him, I’ll feel terrible.

Unless I remember. And I must remember . . .

Christ alone is my righteousness. Not Christ plus my efforts. Just Christ. All God asks is that I would believe Him for the grace He longs to give through His Son. It’s really quite amazing, don’t you think? We can’t even return God's love without His grace much less accomplish any good thing in His name.

I don’t get it. I don’t get anything about God. He knew it would be this way before He even created us humans. But I do believe Him. Everything He says. And when I remember God’s grace toward me, I can relax and just be His kid.

Have a terrific weekend all. I’ll see you back on Monday!

Flee or Conquer?

Good Thursday morning!

When will I learn to flee temptation and not try to conquer it?

Last week I picked up this mega bag of roasted almonds at Costco. I knew I’d regret it but did it anyway. Why? Well, I fooled myself into thinking I’d changed. This time I’d eat them in moderation. This time I would exercise portion control. Why shouldn’t I have almonds in my house? Almonds are good for me. Perfect snack. True, they can be a real diet buster if I eat too many. But I won’t eat too many. Not this time. I won’t. It’s high time I learn some self control. This is good I’m buying this bag of almonds.

Bet you know what's coming.

Well, I did exercise self control – the first day. I measured out a single serving size of almonds so I could become accustomed to this pitifully small amount. Told myself, enjoy them, eat them slowly. Moderation is the key. Almonds are our friends but must be eaten with respect. I walked around my apartment eating them one by one chanting “15 grams of fat, 200 calories.”

Buyer beware.

By the second day – only one day later – I’d already thrown caution to the wind! Oh, I still started out with my pitifully small handful of nuts, all right. But I’d barely finished before I was reaching for the bag again. “This is it, this is IT!" A few minutes pass, maybe a few hours. Eventually though, I’d have my paws back in the bag. I want more. Not even counting them now. No use. I’d crossed the line. Again. Self control experiment total bust.

That’s the way it’s been every day since I bought the stupid nuts.

Yesterday I finally decide to dump the rest down the sink. Had to get them out of my sight. But why do that? I thought. They weren’t cheap and they really are tasty. Finally did a smart thing. Finally. Pawned them off on the staff at my apartment complex. Free at last. Free at last. Ding Dong, the wicked nuts are gone.

This morning I get on the scale. Moment of truth. Yikes! Never saw that number before! Did there really have to be consequences? I didn’t mean to go nuts with the nuts. Yowsers!

Okay, so I get it. I haven’t changed. Bring nuts or chips, or Wheat Thins (they’re my worst downfall) into my house, I’m guaranteed a 100% failure rate. Perfect record. This revelation should set me free, not humiliate me. The foolish thing to do is to think I’ll change. God can definitely change my heart, no doubt about that. But the Bible says to flee temptation, not conquer it! It would be one thing if I had no choice to have these things in my house. God would give me the grace to leave them alone. But I do have the choice.

So, the scale is up. The almonds are history. Now what? No point dwelling on my failure. If I do, I’ll just feel bad. Some people may be motivated to make necessary changes in their lives because they get disgusted with themselves. That approach doesn’t seem to work with me. Just makes me feel depressed and wormy.

Instead, I’ll remember that God loves me just the same now as He did a week ago. If He won’t let this set back come between us, why should I? The scale may fluctuate because of my lack of discipline, but God’s love for me will never fluctuate. Ever.

Gorgeous day here in Coeur d’ Alene, Idaho. Think I’ll eat healthy. Take a long walk. Burn off some of those calories. Back on track. Encouraged now.

The LORD’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
(Lamatations 3:22,23)

Blessings all!

Lesson from the Monkey Bars

Good Wednesday morning. Thanks to Terri, “A”, and Ruth who posted comments yesterday. I’m sure having fun here.

Did you like to play on your grade school jungle gym? I did, though I tended to gravitate toward the safe equipment such as the slide, climbing bars, or the overhead bar that looked like a ladder. Even if I lost my grip, I wouldn’t fall far to the ground. Sometimes if I were really brave, I might swing from the rings, which were higher. But there was this swinging bar (is there a special name?) where these young budding gymnasts would jump up, grab the bar, wrap their legs around it, and swing upside down like a monkey. Once they’d achieved the right momentum, they’d let go, flip through the air and always land on their feet.

How fun! I wanted to try it, too. Except I was too afraid. What if I fell on my head or back? Break my arm? So I decided if I studied my friends for awhile, maybe I’d learn how they actually did it. Then I, too, could fly through the air and land on my feet.

After some time, though, I realized that for all my observing I wasn’t one bit braver. I was just plain chicken. I could witness my classmates land on their feet a thousand times and it wouldn’t matter. Truth was, I didn’t believe it would work for me. So I never tried and I never shared their exhilaration of flying through the air and landing on my feet.

My relationship with God is similar. I can never muster up enough faith to believe God is all that He says He is -- no matter how much I want it or will it so. Neither can you. Faith is a gift God gladly gives to anyone who wants to receive it.

But if that’s true, what’s our part in believing? Our part is to respond to the insight He's given us so far. If you know nothing about God, that might mean a new desire to ask a question about God you've never cared to ask before. God knows that “one question” is a big deal for you and He appreciates it. If you’ve been a Christian a long time, chances are you already know what God's asking of you at the moment. You know your “next step” of faith.

When I explained on Monday the meaning behind my blog When I Remember . . . that is, the strength and encouragement that comes when I remember God loves me, I imagined that at least for some, this was a loaded statement. As much as some Christians wish it were not so, they don’t really believe deep down God loves them -- at least not the way the Bible says.

Oh, they’ve got their theology straight. They may be serving Him faithfully in their churches and their lives. Yet they stand at the base of life’s “swinging bar” trying to convince themselves they’ll land on their feet if they could just believe God loves them more -- if they trusted He wants their best at every turn. Instead, they fear they’re failing God somehow because they just don’t love Him enough.

Sometimes this is me. We all have our pockets of resistance where trust is difficult. Thankfully, God knows those pockets and knows exactly how do break through them. So what do I do when my faith falters? I ask God to show Himself to me in a fresh way. And then I watch to see Him work. But while I’m watching, I’m always remembering. Remembering His past faithfulness to me.

Don’t forget. God loved us first and He loves us most. No changing that. It’s a done deal. Remember and thank Him the best you can today. That’s your part.

“Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." (Hebrews 11:6)

What Others See

I got such a kick out of reading your comments yesterday. Felt like returning home after being gone all day only to find pieces of paper taped all over my front door. “Was in the neighborhood, thought I’d stop by.”

I’ve known some of you for years. Several clear across the country. We’ve served in ministry together, sat over coffee or hiked the base of Mt. Rainer. Seeing each of your names not only made me smile but made me thankful all over again for friends God has blessed me with over the years. Please keep coming back. Makes a girl feel mighty special.

I knew I needed to let friends know about my blog. Also hadn’t written an update on my life forever. So, figured it was the perfect time to do so. This morning, just as I was about to compose today’s blog, I decided to take a quick glance in my inbox. One response from an old friend I haven’t seen since moving across country deeply touched me. So much, I decided to change directions from what I’d planned on sharing this morning. That’s why I’m posting this a little later than what I normally will (at least I think I normally will).

She wrote:

“Gayle DeSalles, how wonderful to hear from you! So glad to hear that things are going great for you. I have noticed that you prosper wherever you are and in whatever circumstance! Praise the Lord!”

Now that’s one of the kindest, most encouraging things anyone has said to me . . . ever. But lest you think it is me I want to call attention to here, notice how she completes her thought: “Praise the Lord.” She doesn’t say, “Way to go, Gayle. Aren’t you just the cat’s meow?” No, it is God my friend compliments. It is to Him she offers her gratitude.

Yet in doing so, I’m encouraged. Strengthened. I want you to understand why so that you may be encouraged, too. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ and desire to walk with Him each day, people are thinking this about you, too! Doesn’t matter if you “feel like” you’re a good testimony. In fact, you might be going through one of the toughest times in your life. You may not even be handling a situation as well as you think you should. But if you are focused on Christ and wanting to love Him more today than yesterday, folks are noticing.

Yea, well how do you know, Gayle?

Glad you asked.

Those of you who’ve known me any length of time know that Exodus 34:29-30 is one of my favorite portions in all of Scripture. Not a week has gone by probably in the last decade where I’m not comforted by these words at least once. At first glance, these two sentence might not appear as a powerful promise, but oh, how they are!

“When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because He had spoken with the LORD. When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, his face was radiant, and they were afraid to come near him.”

Why was Moses’ face radiant? He’d just spent forty days and forty nights in close fellowship with the Lord. But did Moses know his face was shining? Nope! But everybody knew it!

What this says to me is this, and herein lays the promise: If I spend time with the Lord each day, reading His Word and in prayer, my face will shine too. My countenance, my heart, my mind will reflect Jesus Christ to one degree or another. Doesn’t matter that I might feel lousy physically or emotionally. I could have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I may walk into work or church or a friend’s home, eyes red because I’ve just been crying. I may feel like a wreck. I may be a wreck. I’m not saying my countenance will necessarily be cheerful or happy. That’s not the promise. The promise is my face will look like I’ve been with Christ. I will be joyful and the joy of the Lord will be my strength.

What touched me about my friend’s comment is that it came in response to sharing some of the trials and challenges I’m presently going through. When I wrote my letter, I hoped my friends and family would see I was telling the truth. When I said I was doing well, I meant it. But I didn’t want to give the impression that everything was great! Still, I didn’t know how it would come across. But see? Just like Moses. Though I can’t see what my friend sees in me, I believe it. Not because she said it as encouraging as her words, but God Himself says it. And not only here, but in a thousand different ways throughout His Word. I know the Holy Spirit is in me. And I know God is always working. That’s a promise, too.

Today if you see a brother or sister in Christ who appears particularly radiant, tell ‘em! You have no idea what’s going on in his/her life. He may be hanging on by a thread, she may feel God is distant and far away. Still, they keep trusting and praying and spending time in God’s Word. Tell them you notice. Tell them you see Jesus in their eyes. You’ll give them a gift they’ll open up again and again -- not just today, but probably for a long, long time. And to you my sweet friend who prompted this entry today, God bless you richly for your kindness.

“Blessed is the man . . . [whose] delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
(Psalm 1:1-3)

Oh Boy! My First Day as a Blogger!

Greetings!

If I confessed how old I was when I stopped believing in Santa Clause, you’d probably all tease me for months. But you see, I had two very good reasons.

First, one Christmas I awoke in the middle of the night to nature’s call. I hoped the urgency would pass because after all, what if Santa Clause were here right now? Still, I decided I'd have to take that chance. Extremely groggy, I stumbled out of bed, shuffling down the hall as quiet as I could. And wouldn’t you know? To my absolute astonishment, just a few yards away, stood Santa Clause, his back to me, busily filling our stockings!

I froze. If he saw me, I figured he might gather up all my presents and retreat up the chimney. So I tip toed back to bed. By God’s grace, I fell back to sleep, able to hold my bladder until morning.

Now with a confirmation like that, who wouldn’t believe in Santa Clause for life? But on another Christmas morning (no way I’m telling you how many Christmases had passed) not only did I awaken to all the presents I’d asked from Santa Clause, he had written me a personal letter! Neither my brother nor sister received one. Just me. Yea, I know – a bit fishy.

Well, I suspect you already know I never really did see Santa Clause. Wasn’t even my dad dressed as him – just my overactive imagination. And you probably also know that Santa didn’t really write me a letter either. Rather, knowing exactly what I’d hope Santa would say to me, my older brother, Jeff, dictated a letter to my aunt. The grown ups all hoped I’d be so excited to receive it, I wouldn’t recognize her writing or question the letter’s authenticity. Now trust me here. I should have figured it out.

Eventually there came a time I realized Santa couldn’t possibly be real. The day I knew for sure was the summer day a friend told me the truth. I pretended I knew it all along, of course, because I didn’t want to look stupid. Plus, by then I really did know. Just didn't want to let go of the wonder associated with Santa Clause. Inside, I felt like a “baby.” Really silly. Like when everybody gets a joke but you. By the end of the day, though, I was over it. After all, I was a senior in high school. Just kidding!

So is that why I came to believe in Jesus Christ so strongly back in my teens, 16 to be exact? Not because He’s real but because I have this fertile imagination and trusting heart? Because I’ve heard He’s so wonderful, I can’t bring myself to recognize the signs that He’s just make believe?

Hardly. In fact, I was thinking about this when I got the idea for my blog title When I Remember . . .

“Remember what?” you ask. That God loves me. I’m always, always trying to remember that.

Whether I’m having a great day or an awful one, I have a much better shot at keeping my life in perspective – that is, my circumstances, my thoughts and feelings – when I remember to focus my mind and heart on Christ. God made me, He knows what makes me tick. He’s proven Himself faithful enough times for me to trust He has my life under control. Sure, believing sometimes requires a leap of faith, but not a blind one. Nothing like my belief in Santa Clause. God gives me reasons.

I hope that When I Remember . . . will be a rest stop for your soul. By sharing bits and pieces of my own daily journey here on Planet Earth, you may be reminded in a fresh way that a Very Big God has a very personal love and plan for you. If you know Him already, I pray you’re encouraged to know Him better. If you don’t know Him or don’t believe in Him at all, please stick around. Maybe I’ll say something once in awhile that’ll make you think a second. And in the middle of it all, I hope to make you smile.

Please feel free to respond. I’d love to know if folks are actually reading this!

I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will meditate on all your works
and consider all your mighty deeds.
(Psalm 77:11,12)